Comments on: Free HOOK Edit: The wolf would have been mistaken— http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/ Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:51:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Jeanette Bennett http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-375 Jeanette Bennett Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:31:10 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-375 "It was in his blood, or rather she was." ??? I have to hang around just to find out exactly what that means. This is no ordinary wolf. Werewolf? At least it's something supernatural. This hook leaves us with dozens of questions that need to be answered without leaving us too confused to care. We have to know! “It was in his blood, or rather she was.” ??? I have to hang around just to find out exactly what that means. This is no ordinary wolf. Werewolf? At least it’s something supernatural. This hook leaves us with dozens of questions that need to be answered without leaving us too confused to care. We have to know!

]]> By: Jamie D. http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-382 Jamie D. Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:33:49 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-382 Very intriguing hook. I'd certainly read more. I want to know how Alexis is going to get out of this - and what Quinn will do to keep her. Great characters right off the bat. Very intriguing hook. I’d certainly read more. I want to know how Alexis is going to get out of this – and what Quinn will do to keep her. Great characters right off the bat.

]]> By: Angie http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-374 Angie Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:22:39 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-374 Love this one - you immediately get thrown into the shoes of someone being hunted, and feel for them. Genre is clear from the get-go, conflict is clear, and it makes you want to learn more about both characters. Not worried about the cat. I'm sure it will eventually walk in while we're sleeping, bat at our nose and drop a dead mouse on us. Just because it can. ;) Love this one – you immediately get thrown into the shoes of someone being hunted, and feel for them. Genre is clear from the get-go, conflict is clear, and it makes you want to learn more about both characters.

Not worried about the cat. I’m sure it will eventually walk in while we’re sleeping, bat at our nose and drop a dead mouse on us. Just because it can. ;)

]]> By: Ashley Ludwig http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-381 Ashley Ludwig Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:47:09 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-381 This one hooked me right away. The line edit was just the thing... Wondering what will happen to cat. Don't kill the cat!!! ;-) This one hooked me right away. The line edit was just the thing…

Wondering what will happen to cat. Don’t kill the cat!!! ;-)

]]> By: Phyl http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-380 Phyl Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:21:33 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-380 I was especially intrigued by this one, since I love Celtic mythology and things derived in some way from Celtic culture or history. So reference to the "Keltoi" got me right away. Then add in the suspense of the wolf being there in the first place, and the fact that she's been running from him for so long, and I'm certainly hooked. I was especially intrigued by this one, since I love Celtic mythology and things derived in some way from Celtic culture or history. So reference to the “Keltoi” got me right away. Then add in the suspense of the wolf being there in the first place, and the fact that she’s been running from him for so long, and I’m certainly hooked.

]]> By: Amy http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-379 Amy Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:44:49 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-379 really good! I liked the action, immediately I was wondering who Quinn was and why. Very tight piece. Nice! really good! I liked the action, immediately I was wondering who Quinn was and why. Very tight piece. Nice!

]]> By: gotheca http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-378 gotheca Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:51:21 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-378 Andrew--you bet, the cat will be in the picture. Just not the first few words. Focus on one thing at a time, so the reader knows what to pay attention to. Yank them in by the collar first. Then show them how nice you're going to be. Pushing your readers around: http://victoriamixon.com/2009/06/20/pushing-your-readers-around/ Or are you just afraid I'll take the cat out of yours? ;) Victoria Andrew–you bet, the cat will be in the picture. Just not the first few words. Focus on one thing at a time, so the reader knows what to pay attention to. Yank them in by the collar first. Then show them how nice you’re going to be.

Pushing your readers around: http://victoriamixon.com/2009/06/20/pushing-your-readers-around/

Or are you just afraid I’ll take the cat out of yours? ;)

Victoria

]]> By: KjM http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-377 KjM Mon, 10 Aug 2009 22:51:47 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-377 Ah - I see it now (now that's it's been pointed out to me. Sheesh!) Finely edited. It has to be hard not to let your concentration weaken as you work on these, so you don't miss that kind of repetition. Ah – I see it now (now that’s it’s been pointed out to me. Sheesh!)

Finely edited. It has to be hard not to let your concentration weaken as you work on these, so you don’t miss that kind of repetition.

]]> By: Iapetus999 http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-376 Iapetus999 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 22:50:00 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-376 Aww, I liked the part about the cat. Gives the MC a human touch. Sometimes too many edits makes the characters sterile. I want to know why I should care about this person, not just the fact that they're in danger. Aww, I liked the part about the cat. Gives the MC a human touch.
Sometimes too many edits makes the characters sterile. I want to know why I should care about this person, not just the fact that they’re in danger.

]]> By: gotheca http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/10/the-wolf-would-have-been-mistaken/comment-page-1/#comment-371 gotheca Mon, 10 Aug 2009 22:42:21 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=1978#comment-371 KjM, you make a good point. The reason I didn't keep that either/or structure is that it's used in the line above, and it weakens the impact of a technique to use it twice in a row unless you're very specifically building tension with repetition---which unfortunately is a technique so over-used I avoid it unless it's from a really fresh and different angle. If you can remove the either/or from the sentence above, it works fine in the kicker. Victoria KjM, you make a good point. The reason I didn’t keep that either/or structure is that it’s used in the line above, and it weakens the impact of a technique to use it twice in a row unless you’re very specifically building tension with repetition—which unfortunately is a technique so over-used I avoid it unless it’s from a really fresh and different angle.

If you can remove the either/or from the sentence above, it works fine in the kicker.

Victoria

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