Comments on: Free HOOK Edit: Carmen slammed her keycard— http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/17/carmen-slammed-her-keycard/ Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:51:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Lisa Katzenberger http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/17/carmen-slammed-her-keycard/comment-page-1/#comment-489 Lisa Katzenberger Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:58:11 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=2147#comment-489 I really like the voice here. The first line about the plastic keycard is great, and gives us a sense of the character's age. Then the modern keycard is contradicted by the old furnace, which implies that not everything is up to date. The one-word sentence "Again" tells quickly and directly that us Shasta isn't the best-behaved kid around. Nice job! I really like the voice here. The first line about the plastic keycard is great, and gives us a sense of the character’s age. Then the modern keycard is contradicted by the old furnace, which implies that not everything is up to date. The one-word sentence “Again” tells quickly and directly that us Shasta isn’t the best-behaved kid around. Nice job!

]]> By: Jamie D. http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/17/carmen-slammed-her-keycard/comment-page-1/#comment-492 Jamie D. Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:28:48 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=2147#comment-492 I loved this - both versions. Carmen's first little internal rant about metal keys vs. key cards had me identifying with her right away (even though I'm not close to her age). I have a sense of foreboding about what's going to happen next, in a completely delicious way. Thanks for sharing! I loved this – both versions. Carmen’s first little internal rant about metal keys vs. key cards had me identifying with her right away (even though I’m not close to her age). I have a sense of foreboding about what’s going to happen next, in a completely delicious way.

Thanks for sharing!

]]> By: Laura Eno http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/17/carmen-slammed-her-keycard/comment-page-1/#comment-491 Laura Eno Mon, 17 Aug 2009 23:48:40 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=2147#comment-491 Shivers! End-of-life counseling, at such a young age. Very creepy scenario (in a good way) that would compel me to read more. Shivers! End-of-life counseling, at such a young age. Very creepy scenario (in a good way) that would compel me to read more.

]]> By: Amy http://victoriamixon.com/2009/08/17/carmen-slammed-her-keycard/comment-page-1/#comment-490 Amy Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:01:53 +0000 http://victoriamixon.com/?p=2147#comment-490 M., wow! You had me going with lots of questions to answer and many things that made me curious...great job! Would love to see what happens next! M., wow! You had me going with lots of questions to answer and many things that made me curious…great job! Would love to see what happens next!

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