A. Victoria Mixon, Editor
Contact Services Magazine Advice About
Subscribe [RSS]
Follow Me [twitter]
Copyright

Categories


The Art & Craft of Fiction:
A Practitioner's Manual


The Art & Craft of Fiction magazine

Editing

Interviews

Help

Writing
Writing Challenges
Publishing

Linking to...
Fascinating Stuff

  • Free HOOK Edit: The filming began last week—

    The filming began last week after months of preparation. He was eager to get on with it. He was known for channeling a character so well that his physical appearance changed. He’d been making movies since his twenties, and was well known for a time. He was aging though, faster in movie life than real life. Even with filters and makeup and soft lighting, the camera picked up the worry lines, the softening of his features. He was 45, and no longer the big star. He’d been relegated to supporting actor by age and a fickle public. He didn’t mind, it was still absorbing and let him escape himself. He was spared most of the publicity obligations, where the media wanted the fresh face of the star sitting at their interviews. He didn’t get many people recognizing him anymore, because the public had moved on. He had a chance to start over.
    —Amy Henry

    Developmental Edit

    I like the philosophical attitude of this character. I should be so philosophical!

    Informative? check
    Detailed? check
    Raises a question? check Who is he?
    Drop-kicks us off the end? check How is he going to start over?

    What does this paragraph tell us about the book we’re starting? A 45-year-old male movie star is facing the decline of his fame due to aging. But he doesn’t mind. He still has work, and he likes the percs of greater anonymity. He is starting a new life.

    Do I want to follow this character through a whole novel? Well, he’s not unpleasant. But he doesn’t have a very complete personality yet, aside from his philosophical attitude toward his conflict. I’m interested in seeing how he reacts to something he’s NOT philosophical about.

    Genre? Mainstream fiction?

    Do we need to know who the character is, how they got here, where they were before? I’m interested in a few more concrete details. We know his backstory, but we don’t know much about him as a person.

    Do we need to know what he’s going to do next? I’m hoping something unexpected. I’d like to be thrown into a scene where he shows us the things we’re being told.

    Does this paragraph drop us right smack in a specific moment in this character’s story? Not yet. We know he’s a week into filming a movie and several months into prepping for it.

    So let’s talk about the structure of it. One note: numerals are spelled out unless they’re ridiculously long, like years.

    Now, the character seems like a perfectly nice guy with a solid philosophical side, which is attractive. But this is mostly backstory. Can we make it shorter and snappier, while saving the backstory for later—or, better yet, set this up to illustrate the backstory in a scene—focusing right now on the most intriguing elements?

    Copy & Line Edit

    The filming had begun last week, after months of preparation. He had a chance to start over. He was eager to get on with it.

    No Comments

No Responses to “Free HOOK Edit: The filming began last week—”

  1. Amy said on August 17th, 2009 at 9:54 am

    You know, after I sent this, I realized it sounds more like the inside of the dust jacket rather than a hook. Sheesh. So I have lots of work to do. Is there a problem that I used “he” so much? I wondered that too. Thanks Victoria….your questions are a huge help! Amy

  2. gotheca said on August 17th, 2009 at 11:06 am

    You’re welcome, Amy!

    Any word that’s repeated a lot begins to draw attention to itself, but where you have to pay the most attention is at the beginning of sentences. You can only start a couple of sentences in a row with the same word before it starts to grate on the reader’s nerves.

    I would love to see this piece re-done as a scene in which we get to see the character being all the things you describe him as. Give us snippets of dialog between make-up artist and director about his aging, let him deal with someone either baiting him or reassuring him about how his career is going. Throw us into the moment! We’ll learn a lot about him from hearing him speak to people and seeing his body language as he copes with this change in his life.

    Victoria

  3. Maureen said on August 17th, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    I would love to see this character interacting in a scene. I can already tell the writer has a great voice. Well done!!

  4. Amy said on August 17th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    This is what is so hard for me to understand, because the answers to the questions that are brought up about him do get answered in the following paragraphs. So I see I need to find an active moment, introduce him there, and then get to the backstory.

    I’m just not sure how to convey enough details about him in the hook that will make him interesting to continue with, and not have too long of a hook. This is great though, gives me a focus!

    Thanks so much!

  5. gotheca said on August 17th, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Amy, you’re very welcome.

    You can use those first few lines of edited exposition if you feel it’s important to the story to introduce it just a little. But readers are most deeply affected by scenes.

    You don’t have to make the entire scene less than 150 words. Just the beginning part, the part that grabs the reader’s attention, makes they curious about this character, and then drop-kicks them with a little nugget of juicy news. You can keep going with the scene after that if you want. The example of hook-development-climax on a micro level that I used on Nathan’s blog—the lines from Jack Kerouac—were not the entire scene. But they grabbed us, made us wonder, gave us some information, and then snapped our heads around a little just to make sure we were paying attention. Keep that up for 250 pages, and you’ve got a cliff-hanger.

    Yes, the things I suggested you ’show’ in your new scene are all ‘told’ in the original exposition. Do you see how this is simply Show Don’t Tell? You can TELL us your protagonist is forty-five and beginning to show his wrinkles on camera, but it’s more real to us if you SHOW us the characters dealing with this fact.

    Victoria

Leave a Reply

          NOW AVAILABLE


Special introductory ebook price: $14.95 $19.95

"The only thing Victoria doesn't reveal in The Art & Craft of Fiction: A Practitioner's Manual is the secret handshake. Otherwise, a lot of authors are going to improve their writing just by reading and using the advice in her book. Buy it. I recommend it."
---Dave Kuzminski, Editor,
Preditors & Editors

PRINT VERSION COMING SOON

All aspects of writing fiction explored copiously, luxuriously, minutely, indiscriminately, and with a certain amount of personal prejudice.

Clients’ Books


Bhaichand Patel is the author of two nonfiction books: Chasing the Good Life (Penguin Books India, October, 2006), and Happy Hours (Penguin Books India, October, 2009). I edited Patel's debut novel, When the Streets Were Dark and Cold.

In 2009 I edited two nonfiction essays for my friend Lucia Orth. (Many years ago, my contribution to Baby Jesus Pawn Shop was simply a peer critique and participation in a standing ovation.)

The poet Chris Ryan is the author of The Bible of Animal Feet (Farfalla Press, 2007). He has recent stories in Pank, Anemone Sidecar, and A Cappella Zoo. I edited Ryan's novel The Ishmael Blade and worked with him on his debut novel Heliophobia and WIP Pogue.