A. Victoria Mixon, Editor
Editing       Testimonials       Books       Video       Advice       Swag       About         Copyright

  • 3 Steps to Making Friends & Enemies at Writers Conferences

    I don’t really attend writers conferences anymore, because it’s much more comfortable to stay home in my cozy attic office editing the books of the coolest writers on the entire planet—but I have attended a few.

    And I want to tell you a story today about something that happened at a writers conference once:

    1. Step #1: Saying what you shouldn’t

      This was a number of years ago, before I became an independent editor. We were in a workshop led by the very popular creative writing teacher at the local community college. This teacher was at the board doodling graphs and calling out for contributions and scribbling them down as fast as she could, and it was all quite exciting and loud and creative. Everyone was thrilled, and the energy ran high.

      Then things calmed down while we all thought about what we’d created together.

      And after a few minutes a small, shy woman directly in front of me raised her hand.

      “I have a question,” she said tentatively. “I’ve written a novel that was published and even favorably received, and I’m working on my second now. But it’s not coming along so well. In fact, I’m kind of paralyzed. What if I only had that one good book in me? What if I’ve lost it?”

      There was some murmuring, and the teacher said brightly and with great confidence, “Oh, don’t let it get you down. I’m sure you’re fine!”

      A woman in the back cried loudly, “I’m not just saying this because you’re my friend, but you haven’t lost it. You’re a great writer!”

      The other attendees chimed in with their encouragement and positive opinions and exhortations to ignore her anxieties. . .

      And the woman tried very hard to smile and accept their diagnosis.

      But I was close enough to see the fear growing in her eyes. So I turned to her.

      “You know,” I said, “maybe you have. Maybe you have lost it. It’s probably wherever mine is.”

      The silence that fell was instantaneous and deadly.

    2. Step #2: Facing what you haven’t

      “I don’t like what you’re saying,” called the woman in the back aggressively after a minute. “How can you tell her she’s lost it? You don’t even know her. She’s my friend!”

      “Victoria, don’t you mean maybe she’s lost her confidence?” said the teacher helpfully. “Not that she’s lost her talent?”

      “No, I mean her talent,” I said. “I mean maybe it’s gone. Maybe she can’t rely on it anymore.”

      I glanced around, and the entire hostile room looked back at me. “Isn’t that our big fear?” I said. “The terrible shadow under which we work all day long every day, year in and year out? That we’re relying on a talent that could go away? That one day we’ll wake up and we’ll have lost it?”

      The woman was looking at me as though I were her lifeline.

    3. Step #3: Doing what you can’t

      I turned back to her. “So we keep on working without it. Whether we’ve lost it or not. We just keep writing. . .because we’re writers.”

    Yeah, that was kind of the end of that particular class.

    The teacher wouldn’t smile at me as I walked out.

    However, that woman came up to me in the parking lot later and flagged me down. “I want to thank you,” she said, “for what you said in there. I feel so much better now. Nobody else seemed to get it. I’ve been really frightened.”

    “I know,” I said, and we held hands for just a second. “This work can be really frightening.”

    Subscribe:

    11 Comments

11 Responses to “3 Steps to Making Friends & Enemies at Writers Conferences”

  1. Kaz Augustin said on August 6th, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    Ah yes, save me from Anglo Western do-gooders. You’re never allowed to admit to any negativity in a public forum. Even at a social gathering, if someone asks you how things are going and how did something turn out, you’re not supposed to say, “Oh, xxx was a mistake.”

    I can’t remember the number of times people have reeled back in horror. “Surely you don’t mean that!” “You *can’t* say you made a mistake!” “How can you ever admit to something like that?!”

    I admit it because — and follow along here, if you can — I made a mistake. It happens. People are not infallible. I’m not infallible. But nope, no negativity, no serious discussion of issues. Needless to say, I don’t have many friends. :P

  2. Victoria said on August 6th, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    Well, the woman with the problem and I were Anglo Western. I don’t remember about the others.

  3. David Jón Fuller said on August 15th, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    I love this — so true. Every writer has that nagging fear, no matter what they’ve accomplished, that they really do suck and have lost whatever writing ability they once had. It’s just a feeling, and shouldn’t get in the way of the work. Sure, you may write pages and pages of crap when feeling this way, but you can at least write SOMETHING, and there will be something in it you can use when you rewrite.
    Which is the real point, as I see it — treating writing as a discipline means accepting lots of rewriting and editing, and those are skills you can apply to any piece of writing. You may “feel like” you have no talent, but who cares? You will never “feel like” revising an MS (probably), but you do it anyway, because that’s the only way to make it better.

  4. Mark Spyrison said on August 15th, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    Isn’t this why Einstein said creativity is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration? Creativity is wonderful, but sweating through the dry spells is what separates the writers from the one hit wonders. Or so the little fairy elves promise me.

  5. Victoria said on August 16th, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    “Treating writing as a discipline.”

    Yes.

    We don’t write in order to flatter ourselves or pay service to our feelings.

    We write because we want to be writers.

  6. Victoria said on August 16th, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    Yes, it certainly is, Mark.

    Sweating through the dry spells is what separates the professionals from the amateurs.

    You know those ‘weeder classes’ in college—where they put everyone through a hard class in the first year to weed out the debutantes and the ones who aren’t really serious about the subject matter?

    The entire life of a writer is a weeder class.

  7. » Breaking News: Anne R. Allen Knows How to Find Lorelei | A. Victoria Mixon, Editor said on August 17th, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    [...] know—I’m in the middle of our August writers conference month, including 3 Ways to Make Friends & Enemies at Writers Conferences and 5 BS Indicators for Writers Conferences (with its up-coming sequel next [...]

  8. » The Other 5 BS Indicators for Writers Conferences | A. Victoria Mixon, Editor said on August 20th, 2012 at 12:54 am

    [...] been talking about writers conferences here, in particular how to make friends and enemies at them. And as I promised last Monday, here are the other five things that should set off your bullshit [...]

  9. » 3 Writers, 1 Writers Conference: a Story of Hope | A. Victoria Mixon, Editor said on August 27th, 2012 at 12:05 am

    [...] my husband gives a presentation at a computer conference. A few weeks ago I taught you guys how to get people all riled up at you at a writers conference and what to watch out for in the way of presenters, part one and part [...]

  10. » 5 BS Indicators for Writers Conferences | A. Victoria Mixon, Editor said on September 3rd, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    [...] ‘Tis the season for writers conferences. And last week I told you a story about something that happened at a conference once. [...]

  11. » 1 Artist’s Easel, 1 Jadestone Hatchet, & 1 Cat—A Writer’s Organizational Tools | A. Victoria Mixon, Editor said on September 3rd, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    [...] and if you were busy all month actually attending those conferences you can catch up with us here, and here, and here, and especially here (a story of [...]

"The freshest and most relevant advice you’ll find."
—Helen Gallagher
Seattle Post-Intelligencer

"Buy it. I recommend it."
—Dave Kuzminski
Preditors & Editors

Writer's Digest: 2013 Best Writing Websites (2013)

Writer Unboxed Newsletter
Editorial Advice Column

3 Secrets of the Greats:
Structure for Ultimate Reader Addiction
webinar

Authors

MILLLICENT G. DILLON, the world's expert on authors Jane and Paul Bowles, has won five O. Henry Awards and been nominated for the PEN/Faulkner. I worked with Dillon on her memoir, The Absolute Elsewhere, in which she describes in luminous prose her private meeting with Albert Einstein to discuss the ethics of the atomic bomb.

BHAICHAND PATEL, retired after an illustrious career with the United Nations, is now a journalist based out of New Dehli and Bombay, an expert on Bollywood, and author of three non-fiction books published by Penguin. I edited Patel’s debut novel, Mothers, Lovers, and Other Strangers, published by PanMacmillan.

LUCIA ORTH is the author of the debut novel, Baby Jesus Pawn Shop, which received critical acclaim from Publisher’s Weekly, NPR, Booklist, Library Journal and Small Press Reviews. I have edited a number of essays and articles for Orth.

SCOTT WARRENDER is a professional musician and Annie Award-nominated lyricist specializing in musical theater. I work with Warrender regularly on his short stories and debut novel, Putaway.

STUART WAKEFIELD is the #1 Kindle Best Selling author of Body of Water, the first novel in his Orcadian Trilogy. Body of Water was 1 of 10 books long-listed for the Polari First Book Prize. I edited his second novel, Memory of Water and look forward to editing the final novel of his Orcadian Trilogy, Spirit of Water.

ANIA VESENNY is a recipient of the Evelyn Sullivan Gilbertson Award for Emerging Artist in Literature and has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. I edited Vesenny's debut novel, Swearing in Russian at the Northern Lights.

TERISA GREEN is widely considered the foremost American authority on tattooing through her tattoo books published by Simon & Schuster, which have sold over 45,000 copies. Under the name M. TERRY GREEN, she writes her techno-shaman sci-fi/fantasy series. I am working with her to develop a new speculative fiction series.

CHRIS RYAN drew acclaim from the New Yorker for the hook to his novel Heliophobia. He is the author of poetry collection The Bible of Animal Feet from Farfalla Press. I edited Ryan’s debut novel The Ishmael Blade and worked with him to develop Heliophobia and his work-in-progress Pogue.

JUDY LEE DUNN is an award-winning marketing blogger. I am working with her to develop and edit her memoir of reconciling her liberal activism with her emotional difficulty accepting the lesbianism of her beloved daughter, Tonight Show comedienne Kellye Rowland.

In addition, I work with dozens of aspiring writers in their apprenticeship to this literary art and craft.


FAQ


Mentions in the News


Blogroll