-
You have no idea what you’re doing
-
Even if you did know. . .
. . .you wouldn’t be able to articulate it.
-
You read all the advice on writing out there
How to do it, how not to do it, when and where and why to do it, and what to do with it when you’ve done what you’re doing to it—and you would parrot without a qualm anyone on earth who said, “It’s all in the service of the story.”
But when nobody’s looking you spend the vast majority of your time wondering what you’re going to wear on Oprah and answering imaginary questions for your Paris Review interview.
-
You have never read such a stupid, clumsy, inane, self-aggrandizing story
-
You have never hated a story so much
You’re ashamed to know such a story exists in the world. You want to hit it on the nose with a newspaper: “Bad story! Down, story! Play dead, story!”
You feel trapped, cheated, robbed of life you’ll never get back by this story
-
You’re already planning your next story
-
You know your next story is the one you really love
-
You know, deep in your heart, this story was only practice
Someday you will write the stories you really want your name on.
You’ll finish this story to the best of your abilities and then put it in a drawer, part of an artist’s inevitable backlog of old work that never sees the light of day.
You know it takes years to learn how to do this right. You know you’re only partway there. You’re dedicated. You want to be good. Practice, practice, practice.
-
You have looked at that stack of pages at the end of the workday. . .
. . .when it’s raining outside your leaky window and the sun is hot and moist on the pina coladas under the coconut trees in Costa Rica and there’s a folding chair on the beach there with your name on it.
And you have thought about matches.
10 thoughts on “9 Secrets You’re Keeping from Your Story”
Comments are closed.
Well, I’m gonna tell you right now, Miss Smarty Pants, that I have never thought more than three of those things in one day. Maybe four a few times. Or five. I’m not exactly sure. But NEVER all nine in the same day!
:)) I didn’t say you had all 9 secrets at ONCE. I’m not a mind reader, you know. Oh, wait. . .
I love this! So true, so true. Thanks for the smile (cause it made me smile to know I’m not the only one who has been keeping these nine secrets).
You forgot, “You can’t imagine why anyone would give you an advance to write such a stupid, clumsy, inane, self-aggrandizing story.”
Oh, yes. I have thought all of those….Frequently, number 3 & 4 in straight succession, followed by a “who am I kidding?”
Yep, maybe you aren’t a mind reader, but you sure know writers — at least this writer, and this is my first visit to your blog!
OK; I may have thought 3 or 4 of these things..
Terrific post! You forgot: ‘my previous novel was much easier to write!’ Am off to tweet…
You guys are hilarious! You should be writing these. Come on, now—we’re up to 11 Secrets. How many more ARE there?
Oh, how did you KNOW ALL THESE? Shame!
Haha, I’ve thought of a few, but I must admit I have never, ever thought of what I’d wear on Oprah. Just how I’d do my hair. 🙂
In Princess Leia doughnut rolls, natch.