The Long Farewell, My Lovely
Philip Marlowe gets hopelessly confused and rescues a psychotic young woman with a happy triggerfinger from the law, while Moose Malone deals rough justice all over Los Angeles before taking off for Mexico.
Nick
Now We Are Six Degrees of Separation
Christopher Robin grows up to realize that, far from being a chummy little Hundred-Acre Wood, the world is really an global village with some pretty serious alienation problems.
Matthew Blue
West Side Toy Story
Buzz Lightyear and Woody, members of rival gangs on the mean streets of 1960s New York City, are forbidden to consummate their love.
Bumbleboo
Looking Out for Mr. #1 Goodbar
A dedicated schoolteacher spends her nights cruising bars, looking for abusive men and expressing her newfound assertiveness toward them.
Agatha Monteleon
Dr. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Speckled Band
The Fab Four must reinvent themselves as oddly overdressed detectives to solve the mystery of the impossible snakebite while marketing a brand-name soda.
Bumbleboo
Half-Magic Schoolbus
An educational school trip goes horribly awry when the Magic Schoolbus begins granting only half of Ms. Frizzle’s demands and the children wind up stranded without escape in the Mezozoic Era inside a dinosaur’s intestines trying frantically to bake a cake while an internal hurricane descends.
Michael Barter
Don Juan S.S. Valdez Quixote
A slightly mad coffee merchant spends 800 pages attacking windmills and making love to women all over Spain. Then he spills thousands of gallons of oil in an Alaskan sound. The end.
Elwood P. Gray
Brokeback to the Future
Doc and Marty experience a love they never knew was possible. In the sequel, they do it in the Old West, but no one watches it.
Elwood P. Gray
Little Baby Jesus Pawn Shop of Horrors
Ferdinand Marcos has himself inaugurated as President and brutally oppresses the Filippino people until a giant philodendron eats him and Imelda, leaving nothing but Imelda’s shoes.
Victoria
Special Mention Sitcom Mash-Up:
Mad About Tooth
Paul and Jamie move to the Ozarks and become hicks.
Bumbleboo